Post – Op

When I wake up I look over to my right and see my sweet angel Janelle-Nicole laying on a table in the far right corner of the room  with about 4 nurses and Dr. around her I see a head full of black beautiful hair from where I’m laying and I reach for her.  I ask one of the nurses “how is she?” They roll me into the post- op room where I greeted by my husband and dad, about 15 Minutes later our family friends The Penny’s came , It felt so strange not feeling my baby in my stomach anymore, My stomach felt empty I felt like I had failed my daughter like she was taken from her safe place (inside of me) and forced out into this cold world. My mouth was dry and my husband and dad feed me ice to kept my mouth moist,  minutes turned into hours as I waited to hear an update on my baby girl. A nurse finally  came in   to update me on my baby’s status. They said she was stable after having  some seizures and that she was very sick and fighting for her life. They showed me a picture they had taken of her and as soon as I say it I cried, she was Perfect, black hair ,her daddy’s eyes and long beautiful lashes and the cutest little button nose.  I wanted to hold her so bad, but couldn’t they wheeled me to my room and I  waited for them to bring my baby girl to my room.

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